‘New Year, New Me’, is the popular statement we like to claim at the beginning of each new year. We start off excited about our new years’ resolutions only for the excitement to die down somewhere down the line. The truth is, we can make ourselves all kinds of promises, however, if we fail to reflect we keep falling into the same habits that are self-sabotaging and cause us not to tick off those long-outstanding goals.
Every time we transition into a new year it’s so important to take the time to reflect. Reflect on your career, business, relationships, achievements, failures and experiences. Self-reflection helps us to identify certain habits we need to get rid of in order to be the best versions of ourselves both in our personal lives and career.
You can’t set the right goals in life if you don’t make reflecting, especially, before the end of the year a habit. Oftentimes, if you fail to self-reflect or even examine yourself, chances are that you will easily fall back into old habits and routines that essentially do more harm than good. So if you want to have a successful year ahead, here are seven things, habits and negative patterns you need to leave behind.
In 2023, it’s time to stop doubting your own capabilities. You are more than capable to make the career switch or start the business. We doubt our own decision-making process, and we don’t trust that we have the knowledge or experience to achieve our goals.
We allow fear to control what we can or cannot do and this is often caused by the way we think and speak to ourselves. So instead of speaking negative things about your life which only increases the self-doubt, start speaking good things. Instead of saying “I can’t”, start saying, “I can”.
In our day and age of social media, it seems impossible to not compare yourself with family, friends, colleagues and even celebrities. With people living glamorous and perfect lives on Instagram, you might be deceived into thinking that the grass is greener… literally everywhere except on your end. Truth is, comparison is the thief of all joy – If you consume yourself by comparing your life with what others have and what others do, you can never be truly grateful for yours.
So this year, make it a goal to stop comparing your career, business, relationships or anything else with that of others. You will be surprised how an attitude of gratitude and a heart of thankfulness can lead to many open doors and an amazing 2021.
3. Toxic relationships
Although this is maybe a difficult one, we can’t deny the importance of it. Toxic friendships and relationships play a huge role when it comes to people, businesses and plans remaining stagnant. If you feel like you have not been moving forward in life, stop and take a look at your surroundings and ask yourself “Who am I associating myself with?”.
The truth is, bad company can keep us in the same repetitive cycle for many years. So in order to thrive in 2021, you need to cut off or limit contact with toxic friends and yes even family.
Who you allow in your inner circle is something you should carefully consider on a daily bases. Not everyone you meet needs to become your best friend. The older you get, the more important it is to pick your relationships wisely.
4. Not setting healthy boundaries
Speaking of toxic relationships… this goes hand in hand with setting healthy boundaries. In 2021, you cannot afford not to set boundaries. Whether this is in your personal or professional life. We need to set boundaries because it helps to protect us. Lack of healthy boundaries can actually strip you of your confidence and cause you to lose yourself, and your ambition and your drive later down the line.
5. Playing small
According to Psychology Today, playing small has a lot to do with the resistance in following our purpose/call. We play small because the thought of success actually brings us quite some fear. We fear that our success might intimidate the people around us so we end up shrinking ourselves. However, playing small has nothing to do with appearing or being humble – especially so that others will feel comfortable.
When you play small you prevent yourself from realising your full potential. In order to obtain the success you desire, you need to own your achievements and who you are. It’s time to stop shrinking yourself just so that you can fit into places you have outgrown.
6. Overscheduling/Overextending yourself
If you keep overscheduling you might be suffering from the ‘yes’ syndrome. Always wanting to help people so you say ‘yes’ without even thinking or checking whether it fits into your schedule. Overscheduling will cause you to always be busy and have less time to complete certain projects because you said ‘yes’ to too many things.
Setting your priorities is one of the main things that will help you overcome overscheduling. If you really cannot do something, you do not have to force yourself to do it. You do not have to attend ‘every’ event or meeting you are invited to unless it ticks off something on your priority list.
So before you say ‘yes’, here are a few things you might want to consider:
- Am I saying yes without really thinking about it?
- Am I saying yes just because I feel bad or guilty?
- Is my ‘yes’ delaying me or leading me closer to my goals?
- Is my ‘yes’ stopping me from spending quality time with things or people that matter such as family and friends?
This is probably one of the things you and I might have to deal with every single year. Procrastination is a sign of a lack of discipline and without discipline, you really can’t achieve success or be successful. Can you imagine the things you would have accomplished if you did all the things you said you would do at the beginning of the year?
Even though having goals is extremely important, not having the discipline to achieve those goals is just as bad as not having goals at all. And one of the main things that stop us from achieving our goals is procrastination. Often times we procrastinate due to laziness, lack of motivation, and unbalanced priorities.
In order to get rid of this habit try to determine the specific moments, you start to procrastinate. For example, do you put off work every time you feel overwhelmed or afraid? Analyse what might be your stumbling block – Instead of tackling one huge goal at one time, try making a plan of action and break every goal into small tasks.
Getting rid of old habits and patterns means replacing them with new ones
Essentially getting rid of bad or unhealthy habits and patterns that stop us from thriving in the new year is extremely crucial. Sometimes this means that we need to find new and healthy habits to replace the old ones. It may not always be easy, however, one day you will look back and say it was all worth it.