I turned 30 over the past few days! And I have to admit, it felt pretty DAMN GOOD. The truth has to be told. I have always wanted to be 30 since I was a little girl. In my mind, I have always been a very old soul and I always felt like I don’t fit in with my friends throughout school.
I believe that being an adult makes you so much cooler than being a kid. I always dreamed of going to a high-powered job, wearing a high line skirt and heels in my floor-to-ceiling window, a corner office in NYC. Yes, this is true! Other kids dreamt about barbies – but hey! That was me being a weirdo haha!
Well, here I am today, at age 30, grateful and living my life how I always wanted. So as I’ve entered this new stage of my life, I wanted to share some of the things I have learned over the past 30 years to celebrate and mark this new chapter and to encourage all the twenty-something old career girls readings this.
Attitude is everything
I’m a glass-half-full person and that has served me very well in my life. Life doesn’t always go our way. However, I always managed to see the bright side in all the bad things that happened.
You really can find a silver lining in every complicated situation if you try. If you take every difficulty as a lesson you will be able to move forward and grow from it. Each obstacle is teaching you something!
Keep your circle small
When I was a kid I wanted to be friends with everyone! I wanted everyone to like me. But at this stage, I am simply FRIENDLY to everyone and have narrowed down my circle of friends that get my undivided attention.
We all know that it is impossible to maintain a million friendships and give them all your time and energy. If you try to have numerous friendships that will simply drain your energy. So start by ‘minimizing’ your circle – if you haven’t done that already. When I revaluated my circle in my mid-twenties – especially after moving to NY. I felt very guilty at first. I felt like I was doing something wrong. However, at the end of the day, I learned that if it feels like a ‘job’ seeing someone, then that’s just a friendship you might not want to pursue.
That does not mean you have to stop talking to them, but it would be best to put your energy into friendships that matter to you. And remember: your best friends are the ones who should love you, and lift you up and not drain your energy.
Pay attention to energy
Women are usually very intuitive. If you have been getting a bad feeling from someone when you meet them or you are having a bad gut instinct about a business deal – pay attention to that! I will give you a real-life example of when I really didn’t listen to my gut.
I decided to work with a company that a lot of bloggers had worked with. The company I applied to work at was extremely rude – but I thought they wanted to be more exclusive! The whole time we were negotiating I had such a bad vibe, but I completely ignored that inner voice because of that exclusivity factor. Well, my gut instinct was right and the people were awful, unprofessional, and chaotic. They over-promised and under-delivered.
Luckily, I managed to get out of a messy situation which definitely taught me this valuable lesson. Trust your gut & pay attention to energy!
You don’t have to like everyone & not everyone will like you.
Stop worrying about what other people think of you! “The world is going to judge you no matter what you do, so live your life the way you want to.” And on the other hand, stop forcing yourself to like someone!
If you don’t like someone, you don’t – and that is okay! Just remember to always be polite, kind and respectful. That’s all!
The way someone treats you reflects how they really feel about themselves
I was told this by my therapist, a couple of years ago and I think this is so true. We all know people who radiate love, joy, happiness, who are supportive and uplift you every time they see you. This happens because they love themselves. They have found their joy and happiness within, this allows them to share it with others.
On the contrary, you also know a few people who are very toxic, negative, judgemental, and basically… haters. They do not feel good about themselves, they might even hate themselves.
Usually, people become toxic and negative because they have gone through tough things in their life, most of the time trauma. Ironically, these are the type of people that need love the most. So try to be understanding. And most importantly remember that these negative behaviours are just a reflection of how they feel about themselves. Don’t take it personally! (That’s a hard one)
Don’t take anything personally
This goes without saying. Most of the time, people are just taking their distractions and frustrations to other people. Not taking things personally is very difficult, but it’s a MUST.
For example, if your manager is angry with you over a mistake you are directly responsible for, just remember, do not take it personally. Avoid at all costs getting emotional or reacting to the situation. Instead, respond the best way you can, accept their “feedback” and make the necessary changes.
Try to always stay professional. And at the end of the day, not letting people get under your skin feels really good too!
Accept people the way they are
I wish it didn’t, but it took me a very long time to be able to do this. By trying to change family members and certain friends, I would really exhaust myself in the process. I arrived at a certain point where I learned three things;
- First, I don’t need to have the answers to every question.
- Second, I really need to let people live their lives.
- Lastly, I need to be accepting and supportive, if I want them to be in my life.
Of course, every now and then I try to give them advice, if I can, but you just have to think that everyone is doing their best they can. So let them be. Most of the time it’s best if you just listen, then share your thoughts if they ask for it.
Social media is often very toxic
Social media has got people posing and uploading pics of themselves to get comments and likes from people they don’t really care about. And the person with more likes and comments is somehow ranked better than others.
Comparing your life with people’s edited, glossy, certain angle, perfect-looking moments that only shows a tiny bit of their actual lives. There is always pressure to look a certain way and to be trendy and uploading every move you make.
It is a lot, really. We can all relate, so I don’t have to go much more in detail. Social media has created a very skewed perception of reality, and I really struggle with that. Don’t really know when it will end, but until then, make sure you use social media the way it makes you feel better, by creating content that you truly love.
Learn to save money
I was terrible at saving money, back when I was very young. But luckily, a few years ago I started saving, and I’m really happy I did. We never know what will happen in the future so it’s good to prepare for that which is ahead.
A few years ago I was in a car accident that cost me thousands of dollars. Thankfully, I was able to cover it because I had saved money. I use an application called QAPITAL, and it really helps me save money, transfer dollars to and from my savings.
Do not gossip
“Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people”, is one of the quotes that I really love. Start thinking about big ideas and go make things happen. Gossiping about others will only slow you down and eventually not take you anywhere.
Never lose your inner child
As previously mentioned, as a child, I always wanted to be an adult, and I really enjoy the responsibilities of owning and running a business. However, I never want to forget to have fun. Life is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest. Take good care of yourself and always remember, never lose your inner child.